Here again! 
The fire licked at the wood in the fireplace, colliding with the humming of the birds that danced in the afternoon air.
Lovely description to start with.
Elizabeth sat on the floor by her father's chair, reading a book that had lost it's cover.
It's should not have an apostrophe in it, as it's posessive. See overall comments for an explanation.
From her endless page turning, she could conclude that the story was about a girl who fell in love with a prince of some sort.It was a very boring story, Elizabeth thought, flipping to the last page. The characters were too unrealistic and the main character's voice was too vague.
Redundant, nix it. If a sentence doesn't move your story along in characterisation, don't include it.
After deciding that she'd rather watch the sun continue her ascent in the soft blue sky than read the wretched book, Elizabeth placed it on the wooden table that lye in the middle of the room, and stood up.
'lye' should be lay.
You seem to always make this mistake, I'm not sure why. As far as I've heard, there's no grammatically correct word as 'lye'.High in the ocean-birthed sky, rest the golden eye, surrounded by fluffy clouds.
'Rest' should be 'rested'.
.The tall grass shimmered in it's yellow rays as they caressed the earth
Again, your apostrophe is wrong. 'it's' should be 'its.'
The moment they laid their eyes on each other, true love would bound them together for eternity.
Bound should be bind. As 'bound' is past.
Staring at the day outside, Elizabeth couldn't help but realize that fairy tales weren't real.
Rephrase this, you can't really stare at the day.
Ever since she was little, Elizabeth's mother taught her that it was more important to look for wealth, pride, and appearance in a man.
More important than what? This sentence is missing something.
Elizabeth could see it in her eyes when she'd look at Mr. Greenly.
Rephrase as, '...when she looked.'
"Elizabeth?" Mr. Greenly asked, breaking Elizabeth out of her reverie.
The second part would sound better as, 'pulling Elizabeth out of her reverie' or 'wrenching Elizabeth from her reverie.
"Lizzie, darling, that sort of thing is wistful thinking," Mrs. Greenly said, shaking her head.
You mean, 'wishful thinking.'
"Now, now, Alison, if Elizabeth is thinking about something so severely, then it is her god-given right to believe in it," Mr. Greenly said firmly.
'god' should be capitalised.
When you find that one other person who is able to say that they love you over tea and music, then you found it.
You mean, 'then you've found it.' And this philosophy seems slightly wishy-washy. Why over tea and music? I was expecting a more sturdy, drastic answer. But ah well.
Elizabeth, don't go looking for love, one day love will find you, no matter what your mother says," Mr. Greenly replied softly.
To give this more effect, put a fullstop after the first 'love.'
Outside, the clouds were dancing in the sun, attuned the cacophony of sounds.
Gramatically incorrect. 'attuned' should be 'attuning.'
In his deep brown eyes, Elizabeth could see the resurrection of an emotion that Daniel had stopped showing, joy.
Replace the second comma before joy with a colon. so it reads, ...that Daniel had stopped showing: joy.
"No, ma'am, I'm as fit as a fiddle," Daniel replied softly.
Softly is the wrong adverb as he seems to be in quite a joyous state of mind.
Elizabeth smiled at her brother's joy, her cheeks breathing rose, by the warmth of the fire.
'breathing rose' doesn't quite make sense, dear.
It is pretty, though."Tell me, my darling brother, who is this charming lady you speak of?" Elizabeth asked, smile in her voice.
Insert 'a' before 'smile.'
She smiled; the sun was still high in the baby's blue sky, and in an hour it would near sunset, night's introduction.
I think you mean, 'the baby blue sky', and baby blue is pale, the wrong adjective to describe sky before sunset. It would be stormy blue or something like that.
Overall Comments
I
This chapter was sweet. I would have liked to see some more conflict though, as nothing really happened. Conflict has a special place in romance novels because romances have something that other novels don't have -- a strong emphasis on the relationship between a man and a woman. In a way, they don't just have one main character, they have two main characters. While most writers only have to worry about strengthening the conflict for one main character, you have to juggle the conflicts for the two characters. This is because the crux of the romance novel is the relationship between these main characters. It isn't just a subplot, it's the main plot. In the best romances, this relationship is intense. However, this also means that if the hero and heroine are always at odds, your readers could throw the book against the wall in frustration.
II
In simplest terms, conflict is important to a story because without conflict, there is no tension, no reason to keep reading and find out what happens. Conflict stems from the fact that your characters' lives aren't perfect. Like you, they don't have everything they want. Even if they found everything they thought they wanted, they would probably realize there was something missing. Characters have to try to attain something -- not necessarily wealth. Your main characters have to take risks to set things right. Other characters -- or circumstances -- have to get in their way.
There are two basic types of conflict -- external conflict and internal conflict. How the conflict affects the relationship of the hero and heroine is up to you -- and probably reflects the type of book you like to read. Your entire conflict could center on a conflict within their relationship. If your favorite romances are those where the plot hinges on a problem the couple must work out, this might be the type of story you will be happiest writing. Or your conflict could center on outside forces that affect what goes on in their lives.
III
I think internal conflict is the conflict you should choose for your story, as it's hardly an action story. External conflict can be anything from a hostile takeover to a murder to a war, with plenty in between. Since yours is a gentler, more realistic story, then go with internal conflict. If your story centers on internal conflict, then strong characterizations are vital to your story. You must have a strongly drawn hero and heroine, or those characters won't be enough to carry the book. If the characters fight all the time, readers need to know why, or they will throw the book down in disgust. On the other hand, if you present them with characters who have believe internal baggage, then you can make the readers believe that they can't get along yet. And all that lovely internal conflict will pay off.
IV
Apostrophes - they seem to be a problem of yours. You insert them when they're unneeded, and don't insert them where they are needed. Don't worry, it's a common problem and one we can easily solve.
The main rule: A plural word does not ever require an apostrophe unless it is possessive.
For example: Elizabeth's ribbons.
The above ^^ is posessive, because Elizabeth owns the ribbons. Therefore, the apostrophe SHOULD be there.
However, in this example: Ribbon's sale
The above ^^ is not posessive, because the ribbons do not own the sale. Therefore, the apostrophe should NOT be there.
I tried to be as simple as possible, because if I drone on you'll soon lose interest. But if you need any more help, try out Professor Rabbit's excellent article on apostrophes: viewarticlebody.php?t=35798
V
So. I liked the cute philosophies and descriptions in this chapter. I also liked the developement of the relationship between Elizabeth and her father. Fortunately, there's an upcoming event: the ball! I can't wait to read that, I'm sure with your beautiful description it's going to be a delight to read. ^_^
Good luck!
-Sarah
xxx
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Reviews: 202
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